


Bride of the Orange Rose

by Ember A. Keelty



Category: Utena
Genre: Angst, Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-09-01
Updated: 2009-09-24
Packaged: 2013-09-17 05:54:20
Rating: T
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,789
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5349409/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/531215/Ember-A-Keelty
Summary: In which a revolution is fumbled and a witch is born. Post series, Juri/Shiori and Akio/Shiori. Abandoned.





	1. Settled Dust

The computer screen glows brighter in the dim light of sunset, displaying the salutation of a letter that will never be written. Beside it lie more letters, all neatly folded and sealed with red wax. They will never be sent. Above them, her glasses, the only things she left behind.

Without them, the full force of her beauty will be bared for all to see. Her hair will be down, he knows, as once it came down for him and him only. She will find her strange new monster of a prince, and _it_ will certainly never ask her to conceal herself from the world. He alone, he whose eyes she once existed for, will never lay eyes on her again.

The kingdom is barren. The throne room is empty. Akio sits at the center of it all and waits for nothing.

Dusk comes. The blinds crash down and the projector flickers on. Instead of stars, shadows play across the ceiling.

"I wonder, I wonder." they chorus. "Do you know what I wonder?"

"Do you remember Fluffy?" asks one.

"You mean your cat?" responds the other.

"Yes," replies the first. "The most wonderful cat in the world!"

"Of course."

"She ran away."

"How dreadful!"

"But it's all right, I have a new one! Meet Scruffy."

"Mrrrow!" declares the silhouette of what appears to be an over-sized dust-bunny.

"Oh dear, that cat is not at all as good as Fluffy."

"It's okay, though, because I'm not trying to replace her. All I need is something to catch the mice."

"Just as it should be!" the shadow-girls chorus, and the shadow-cat makes an unwholesome retching noise.

"That's all very well," says Akio. "But not just anyone can be the Rose Bride."

The shadow-girls come together, whisper to each other in loud, incoherent hisses, then separate and go to work. Props and costumes fly every which way. The shadow-cat screeches as it tumbles through the air. Then all at once the lights go off. When they come on again, the scene has changed.

"Once upon a time," begins a silhouette decked in epaulettes and puffed-out pants, "there was a beautiful, noble Prince, and he was in love."

"('He?')" comes a stage-whisper from somewhere in the wings. "(Are you sure that's right?)"

"(Of course it is! A _girl _can't be a Prince, you know!)"

They giggle. Akio scowls. "Get on with it!"

"The Princess he loved," continues the second shadow, walking onto the stage in a long ball gown, "was also beautiful, and adored him with all her heart."

"The Prince, of course, was virtuous and chaste." She draws in as though about to kiss the shadow playing the Princess, but pulls away at the last second.

"A perfect courtly lover," the Princess agrees. The two dance around each other, never touching.

"Surely nothing could go wrong."

"Then! Out of nowhere!" With one sweeping motion the Princess pulls off her billowing dress, revealing beneath it a tattered cloak. "A Witch appeared and spirited the Princess away!"

The Prince stops dancing and stares. The Witch, however, continues to circle around him as though nothing has changed, and as she does so she wraps him in chains. "She attacked the Prince unfairly, and he was defeated." The Prince sinks to his knees, and the Witch fastens the chains with a padlock shaped like a rosebud.

"But where did the Witch come from? And where did the Princess go?"

"Do you know?" they chorus. "Do you know? Do you know?"

The projector stutters and clicks to a halt, and the shadows vanish. Akio folds his hands and considers their suggestion.

---

She's heard the rumors, of course. She isn't _deaf,_ you know. But she doesn't believe them, not one word.

All right, so _maybe_ Juri could be like that. It is awfully hard to imagine her as the _girl_ in a relationship. But even if Juri is in love with another girl, it certainly isn't her. She's… not _unlovable_, exactly. She mustn't think that way anymore. It's just… it's _Juri_. Juri is _special_. Special people don't fall in love with people like her. Once she thought it was possible, but _that _turned out to be just another huge mistake.

And anyway, Juri and her, they've known each other since they were little. They saw each other naked a couple of times, long before their bodies and everything else began to change. So it would be weird. _Gross_. Best not to think about it.

She doesn't like what happens to her when she _does_ think about it. Because if it's true, and if Juri were to confess to her, she thinks she would probably destroy her. Imagine that — Juri, toyed with, used, cast aside and humiliated in public, brought down to her level. The image horrifies her almost to the point of tears, but there's a smile there too. She wants to shout, out loud, "I'm not like that anymore! I'd never do _that_ to Juri! We're finally _friends _again!" But the truth is that she doesn't know if she'd be able to stop herself.

And yet… what if she _could_? What if she could be good? What would it feel like to really be _loved_ by someone like Juri? No, _not_ "someone like" — to be _loved by Juri_. She imagines being held. She imagines secret kisses in that overgrown rose garden. It feels safe, and exciting, and she knows by now that most things can't be both of those at once. It feels like everything wonderful all at the same time. But that's _stupid_, she reminds herself, because Juri may be princely, but she's still a _girl_. Girls and girls don't get happy endings. And anyway, _she's_ not like that. _That part_ of what she felt for Ruka was real, even if all the rest of it was lies. Still, it's nice to imagine…

Until she remembers the locket and thinks about when it disappeared — it was just after _that_ happened, wasn't it? And suddenly, she knows. She _was_ the girl in the locket. Juri _did_ love her. But she doesn't anymore, because she went and screwed it up, just like she screws up everything. Screaming, crying — not pretty crying that makes boys and maybe girls like Juri want to hold and comfort you and make you feel loved again, but the sort with snot and drool and puffy, salt-reddened skin — shameless begging, shameless lies, all dignity forsaken… Who could love a creature like _that_?

It shouldn't hurt so much. It's a _good_ thing, something she doesn't have to worry about anymore. Now they can really be friends again, like they used to be, like they _should_ be. Besides, she's a normal girl, isn't she? She doesn't need other girls to be in love with her. She wants to get married someday. It really shouldn't hurt so much.

So… why does it?

---

"I wonder, I wonder. Do you know what I wonder?"

They're following her.

She no longer stops to watch their insipid little productions, but she can't help from hearing them. She used to at least be impressed by the fantastic shapes they managed to conjure seemingly out of the air, until the day she followed the trails the stretched-out forms of their legs made on the ground and discovered there was nothing at the other end. She isn't sure whether that makes it worse or better. On the one hand, at least she knows that no mere mortal would be so audacious. On the other, she's fairly sure that disembodied spirits aren't supposed to exist any more than miracles.

"What are you reading? That's _boys' _manga!"

"But I like lots of things that boys do! Like basketball! And swords!"

"Anything else?"

"Well…"

Giggles. They're _mocking_ her.

It's always either this or some doggerel about lilies. She won't let them get to her. There's no point being angry at things that aren't real.

"Oh dear. Are those panty shots?"

Juri bristles.

"Yes, I am a lesbian," she hisses through clenched teeth after surreptitiously looking about to make sure no one is within hearing range. "I am not, however, a _pervert._"

It took her all too long to admit even to herself. For a while she at least had some plausible deniability: she didn't like girls _in general_ — she just happened to be deeply, hopelessly in love with one particular person who happened to be female. Well, the Tenjou girl blew _that _theory out of the water. She's fairly sure now that if she ever falls in love a third time, it will _not_ be with a man.

She hopes she never does. She is not entirely over either of them and doubts she ever will be, and being torn at this way from three directions is more than she thinks she could bear.

Enough self-pity. Strength like hers can endure loneliness. Shiori is on speaking terms with her again. She has her companionship, and she can look as long as she does not touch. It will have to be enough.

_Contentedly-ever-after_, Juri thinks as she leaves the shadows behind. Happiness, like miracles, belongs to fairy tales, and there are no fairy tales about people like her.

---

_"The coffin lid is open! Won't you come out?"_

_"Ah, just a moment! There's so much to do! I have things to pack, and I suppose I really should put on some better clothes."_

_"Well, be quick about it! This thing is really heavy."_


	2. Stirrings

She is pretty, he supposes — pretty enough for Miss Arisugawa, evidently — but she fades all too easily into the background, swallowed up in a green-and-white sea. Beneath a few superficial details, all girls are the same (he sets off to one side that pink-haired _creature_ and refuses to acknowledge it as a girl). Having made love to a goddess, he cannot call any of them beautiful.

It does not matter. She is something to catch the mice.

"Miss Takatsuki?"

She keeps her head low. "Mr. Chairman."

He pulls up alongside the sidewalk and cuts the engine to match her speed. "It's a long walk back to campus. Perhaps you would like a ride?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Chairman, but I don't hate myself that much anymore." She smiles and there's a rawness to it, a sad little twist around the edges. Even without the words, a smile like that would signal the necessity for a change of tactics.

"You never stop lying, do you, Shiori?"

"A lie like that," she says without looking at him, "if I tell it enough, might become the truth."

"It is a pretty one. Like 'believe in miracles.'" He waits a beat. "But it takes a bit more than belief to make a miracle, I am afraid."

"They're built on sacrifice, I've been told."

"And do you believe it?"

"I don't know. I've seen a good bit of sacrifice and no miracles."

_Pretentious child, _he thinks._ You know _nothing_ of sacrifice. _"Haven't you, though? Do you remember what I showed you at the end of the world?"

She stops suddenly, and he almost drives past her. "At the end of the world," she says wistfully, "I was a true princess, desired and envied by all." Then she shakes her head. "It's no good. I don't really want to be envied. Envy makes people want to hurt you. I should know."

"And desire?"

She hesitates. "I don't think I need _everyone_ to want me," she says at last. "I think it might be enough if one person wanted me with all their heart."

And there it is: the greatest danger, but also, perhaps, the way in. "I agree," he says, "that something like that is very special. Most people only ever get one chance at it in a lifetime, and once that's passed…"

She looks at him for the first time, and he uses the opportunity for all it's worth. With his posture, with the slant of his gaze, with the twist of his lips and every little muscle in his face he says to her, _She doesn't love you anymore._

Shiori swallows a sob and trots away as quickly as she can.

She's not half as good a liar as she thinks she is, he reflects; _she_ has to open her mouth.

---

Who the Hell does he think he is? And for that matter, who _is_ he? And what could he possibly want with someone like her? Maybe he's trying to get to Juri. That has to be it; Juri was one of the players of the dueling game. She won't talk about it with Shiori except to say that it's over, that the tomboy and her bride won, only no one seems to know what that means except that neither of them are around anymore and recently life has been going just a little bit more smoothly for everyone who knew them.

Thinking of that dredges up two memories she's already tired of trying to work through: Ruka, and what she overheard Juri say to Utena on the badminton field. The first one makes her want to curl up in bed and pull the blankets over her head. The second makes her want to throw things, especially now.

Okay, so she has feelings for Juri. There's really no point in hiding from it anymore. It's not such a big deal, is it? Just a small class-S crush. It's not unheard of, and it doesn't necessarily make her like Juri is. There's no need to freak out, no need to start analyzing every little word and touch (_are her hands lingering when she corrects my fencing posture?_), and _certainly_ no need to say anything.

"What exactly do you see me as?" she blurts out anyway.

"An old, good friend," Juri says. "What else would you be?"

She's so cool. Even flushed and sweating from practice as they leave the fencing hall together she's cool as an icicle, tall and sharp and gleaming in the sun. It's infuriating and enticing and makes Shiori want to thaw her out. Which is a _weird_ idea, and she isn't even sure which way she means it.

"That's a lie!" It's out of her mouth before she can catch it, and as the words come tumbling forth she hears what she has not allowed herself to think. "Friends _talk_ to each other, Juri! They trust each other enough to tell one another about their lives and things that are hurting them. Right now, even though we're getting along better than we were before, we're still not friends. So either you don't really like or respect me at all and you're only letting me hang around out of pity, or…" _Or you're a pervert who just wants to be close to me so you can look at my body!_ But she _knows_ that Juri wouldn't do that, if she's being honest with herself (and she _needs_ to be honest with herself, _damn it_!) so she swallows that and tries again. "Or the rumors are true, and you're secretly in love with me."

She sees the stunned look on her erstwhile friend's face, sees her hand fly up to grasp at her collarbone (_She's_ caught _Juri_ off guard! _Touché!_) and suddenly isn't ashamed at all, not of her mouth, not of her heart. Because she's sick of being torn, and this needs to happen. If Juri admits to not wanting her around anymore it will hurt like nothing ever has, but it will also mean that she can walk away and never look back. On the other hand, if Juri loves her…

_If Juri loves her_. With the warmth that flutters through her body at the thought, and the softening of the calluses over her heart she feels when she sees the mask of ice slip from Juri's eyes and the vulnerability shine through like it used to do just for her when they were younger, she has no more doubts. If Juri loves her, everything is going to be wonderful.

But Juri doesn't answer. Her head falls to her chest, chin pressing against the fist clenched at her throat, and she turns and walks away so quickly that by the time Shiori has recovered from the shock, she has to trot to catch up with her.

"What the Hell are you doing?!" she shrieks, because when the hurt sets in the monster comes out, and _Let me take away the sadness in your eyes _falls andgives way to _How dare you treat me like this? _She grabs hold of Juri's arm. The taller girl stops and her body stiffens, tensing even more tightly than its accustomed coiled-to-strike state. "Don't you walk away from me, _damn it_! Why is it that every time I put myself on the line to try to _fix_ us, you just ignore me and walk away? Do you really hate me that much? Is this a game to you, or are you just punishing me for that time I walked away from you? Why won't you look at me? I _know_ you want me! _Tell me that you want me!_"

Juri turns and stares at her in shocked horror, and suddenly Shiori becomes aware of where they are, and that she isn't the only one. Two-dozen eyes from all around the courtyard bore into every inch of her too-exposed skin. It's just like that time with _him_, only worse.

Shiori swallows her bile and runs — uselessly, since the thing she wants most to escape from is more a part of her than her shadow.

---

_Excellent question, Shiori_. What the Hell _is_ she doing?

Her heart batters itself against its cage with every beat as she stumbles numbly, dumbly into the open. It isn't love making it race, though Shiori was gorgeous just a moment ago, tight-lipped and serious with wide, searching eyes so open and expectant. No, Juri is terrified. Terrified of dragging this beautiful, innocent girl down into the mud with her lust. Terrified of being betrayed yet again by this beautiful, cruel demon. Terrified of getting everything she ever wanted, of being happy and fulfilled and forced to concede the existence of miracles.

Shiori catches her and clings to her and screams into her ear. "Do you really hate me that much?" No, she never could; she's tried. "Why won't you look at me?" _Because you're so beautiful it hurts_, _and I have to get away_. But she looks anyhow, because she's always been a masochist for this girl, and the all-too-familiar desperation she sees gathering with the tears in Shiori's eyes brings her heart to a jerking halt.

They're out in the open. Everyone is staring. Oh God, Shiori. It's happening to her all over again, and this time Juri is the one making it happen. She's too sick with herself even to call out to her when she flees.

"Now what was all that about — I wonder, I wonder?" She lifts her head. That voice…

There! Two flesh-and-blood girls — one wearing gravity-defying pigtails and the other a painfully tacky bow, but otherwise unremarkable — stand gossiping loudly at the edges of the courtyard. Juri crosses to them without thinking, and when the haze dissipates from her mind she has Pigtails by the shoulders. "If this is somehow a coincidence," she growls, "you've picked a _very_ bad moment to mess with my mind. If it isn't, I want to know what you have to do with this!"

Students several meters away shrink back in terror, but Pigtails continues blithely conversing with her friend and fellow aberration of nature. "Could it be related to the Chairman, I wonder?"

"He _was_ seen speaking with Little Miss Shiori off-campus," pipes in Awful Bow, and Juri can only think, _Oh fuck_.

"I heard he wanted to take her for a ride." Oh _fuck_.

"How scandalous!"

"She didn't go, though. She said she might if she hated herself, but that there was only one person she wanted to love her." Oh…

"How can I even believe you?" she interjects, because they aren't _really_ talking to each other. That much is clear. "What evidence do I have that you're on our side and not on his?"

"Side?" says Pigtails. "We're on no one's side. We just want to keep things interesting, for the sake of our art."

"And the duels were _so_ romantic!" Awful Bow exclaims. "Such passion! Such suspense! There simply must be a sequel!"

"The duels are over!" It occurs to her, somewhere in the back of her mind, that all three of them must sound like lunatics by this point, but she finds it difficult to care about her reputation just at this moment. "The Rose Bride left, and she's not coming back. Good riddance to her and to them!"

"But Little Miss Juri," says Pigtails, and Juri's hands manage to slide a centimeter or two closer to her throat before she gets them under control, "weren't you the one who said that every girl is a rose bride?"

What does that—?

Oh.

Oh _no._

"What _are_ you?" she asks, letting go of the smaller girl's shoulders. "You're clearly like the chairman and his sister, but I don't know what they are either."

"We, like them? Don't be silly!" says Awful Bow. "They're only gods. _We_ are storytellers!"

"But tarry no longer, noble prince!" Pigtails says without a hint of sarcasm, and Juri wonders how she got to that from Little Miss Juri. "She's going to him right now! You'll have to run if you want to follow and protect her."

"That's not my responsibility," snaps Juri, but she's already sprinting.

---

_"Ah, I think I'm going to sneeze!"_

_"Try to hold it in! I'm just putting the last touches on my make-up."_

_"Make-up? How much stuff do you have in there?!"_


End file.
